Easy Doesn't Lead To Happy

That’s my lesson of the past couple of weeks. So many times I’ve been faced with wanting to stay in my gauzey, cocoon-ish comfort zone but have made the choice to go ahead and face something I dread or be with someone who challenges me, because I recognize that I am in a comfortable but unsatisfying rut. After all, I’ve told myself, this is the stuff I write about. So do it.

And each time it’s worked out fine. In fact, as soon as I realize I have a choice, I’m okay. The only way to break out of the prison of my conditioning is to question myself awake. Then and only then can I see the prison for what it is: a place I’ve put myself because on some level it’s comfortable. Even dissatisfaction and unfulfilled dreams are comfortable, because they are so familiar. I know them inside and out. And familiar is easy. The thing is, easy doesn’t lead to happy.

That’s a tough one. It’s the exact opposite of every fairy tale I’ve internalized about what my goals in life should be. After all, some of the greatest myths of our age have to do with something called leisure, which has to do with the idea that only rich people get to sit around and do nothing, i.e., have it “easy.”

Certainly without a guiding mission, vision or purpose, any life – busy or laid back – can lack soul and satisfaction.

Revelation number two: I still have to go against the grain to live my message. And what is that message? The message is we have the potential to create our own reality. To do that, we first have to sift through and examine all the beliefs about ourselves and our world, rejecting those that sell either of those short. Enter the Soul Message cards and book.

But the cards and book are worth nothing if, in my hardest moments, I cannot find a choice that shifts my pain into something empowering. Even if it doesn’t take the pain away.

So, what are the choices I am talking about? I am talking about choosing to be loving with people, which includes letting go of my needs and judgments about them; owning my reactions, not living them. Forgiving. Sometimes over and over again.

I’m also talking about being loving with myself, but not in the “If you really don’t want to do it, you don’t have to” way, but in the “Chin up, baby, this is the kind of person you want to be” way.

It means choosing the empowering belief as an action – “The Universe adores me, so this is not evidence of a whimsical god toying with me. There is a solution. I just can’t see it because I’m paralyzed with fear of betrayal right now.”  And then picking up the phone to check someone else’s perspective.

And it means rejecting the disempowering belief in an active way, too: “ No, people are not all out for themselves. This person is just fixated on doing what they think they have to do to survive, because they’re afraid. I’ve been there.” And then connecting with that person, human to human. Maybe there’s something I can do for them. Maybe all they need is a warm smile. Sometimes just the shift in my awareness changes the whole scene.

And then, prayer. Prayer for me is stopping for a moment, focusing on my heart, affirming my “I am good- you are good- the universe is good” truth and setting my intention for a healing.

It’s all about healing. This whole crazy, spinning out of control mess of a world is all a giant conspiracy to wake us up, snap us out of those limiting beliefs and as a last ditch experiment try loving ourselves and each other and believing in goodness for real. Like with our asses and our pocketbooks, our politics, policies, and in our moments when no one is watching.

When no one is watching, I sometimes struggle to live all this. Writing about it here helps me connect with my big truths and with my tribe.

What is the vision, mission and purpose that give your life meaning?

What do you struggle with that is in stark contrast with what you say you are all about?

What do you do to connect with your big truths and your soul peeps?

Stay tuned for my web/biz/writing/inspiring re-tool coming this Fall! There will be freebies! There will be new products! There will be creativity, recovery and spirituality aplenty.

I look forward to having you as a friend on this journey.


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by Phyllis Capanna © 2014 joyreport

All content is the sole property of Phyllis Capanna and joyreport. If you are reading this content on another site, it has been reposted without the author’s permission and is in violation of the DMCA.  © 2014 joyreport


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