How the Law of Attraction Helped Me Stop Wanting Things

racer and horse

Ever since I started reading metaphysical and channeled material I’ve been captivated by the idea that we create or co-create our own reality. One of the first pillars of the old world, objective reality, fell with hardly a sound when I first encountered that idea.

For a couple of wild years in the early 80s I lived with a guy who believed he could win at the race track by using what we now call the Law of Attraction. (And yes, I did write a book about it, but without being able to hear his Trenton, NJ, accent, it kind of lost something in translation. But still, I’m a sucker for this kind of character.)

I don’t know what he thinks about it now, but at the time he believed it was simply a matter of aligning his beliefs with those of Universal Law, and voila! The trifecta.

In fact, it was from him that I learned about all sorts of witchy woo-woo things: past life regression (It actually did help me with my unreasonable stress at a retail job), dolphin communication, isolation tanks, tantra (or so he called it), lucid dreaming (scary), and others crazy things, like yoga.

Imagine my delight as the 80s blossomed into the 90s, where everything metaphysical seemed to go deeper underground, only to pop back up again in the new millennium, and become something like mainstream. And boy, was I going to master this manifesting thing. I had plenty of things I wanted: more money, a thinner body, a happy relationship, a car, a house, a great career.

When I started blogging, naturally I blogged about it. I taught workshops on manifesting. I took workshops on manifesting. I listened to Abraham tapes. I created intentions. I visualized, and I affirmed.

And then a funny thing started to happen. As I worked on aligning my vibration with the vibration of Universal Law, I tackled a lot of issues: addiction, codependency, deep-seated insecurity, lack of faith in a loving higher power, avoidance of intimacy, creative frustration, unfulfilled dreams, fear of wanting things, anger at my growing up, my sexuality, my purpose in life and general, lifelong unhappiness.

As I addressed these issues I got healthier. I became a real boy, to quote Pinocchio. I got clean, I got spirituality, I got dreams, I got a life. I guess you could also say, I got a car, a loving relationship and a house. (Thinner body obviously requires a higher vibe than I can attain.)

But I did those things. I know, I know, I co-created them. There is a creative force that creates life, and I’m not it. There’s Something that set things in motion way back when, and plenty of natural laws we have only begun to scratch the surface of that keep things in motion, and I’m part of that, so there you go. Fair enough.

By doing my part to become healthier, though, I found myself less and less interested in “manifesting” things. The truth is, life is so much richer and more rewarding, in ways I never anticipate or imagine, that I’ve given up wanting things. Instead, I feel the best thing I can do is learn to loosen my grip on all this managing and directing, even if it’s called visualizing and intending, because, honestly, I’m not creative enough to top what’s already here and possible.

So here’s what I advocate doing instead of mastering the Law of Attraction. Master becoming a real person. Handle your addiction. Unearth your abandoned and postponed loves. Clean up your relationships, not only with other people, but with yourself, and with your home planet. Learn more about how things work and who makes them work. Offer appreciation where it’s due, and keep other people in mind as you move through life. Cultivate humility and curiosity. Learn to laugh.

You can have an enormous impact. You don’t need to manifest anything. But you do need to wake up to the gift that is life and the power that is you. After all, when we loosen our grips, what have we but an open hand, ready to give and ready to receive?


With love,


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by Phyllis Capanna © 2016 joyreport

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