Today was landing day after my weekend in Grafton, VT., where I was filled to overflowing with goodness: a fluffy bed in a private room, my very own rotating fan, the original somnolent, three hearty meals a day, workshops all day, two concerts, and meeting frame drum enthusiasts from all over the place.
There was skill and generosity and joy. Two of my frame drum teachers were there performing and shining. Fellow students were there, holding down the four corners of the universe, as usual. It rained, great roaring downpours, and I walked in it and cut through yards to get back to my lodging house. (Readers of previous posts know how much I love cutting through.)
When I got home, there seemed to be great piles of irrelevance taking up the spaces where I should be practicing my music, and creating and planning future classes and workshops. Scattered papers and other detritus, environmental noise, were suddenly audible distractions from the things I really care about. It’s amazing and daunting how much stuff I have accumulated, putting off till tomorrow what I don’t want to deal with today. Today I learned I don’t want to deal with most of it, ever. So why bother lugging it upstairs and putting it in my office space in the first place?
Today I reclaimed what I would call an altar, a place where special things remind me of feelings and qualities I want to evoke, and of people who have contributed magic and beauty and heart to my own creative spirit. This place can help me to connect with what is sacred to me, my creative life that I have too often pushed aside in order to make way for something more urgent. I hope I recognize the quieter urgency of my soul’s needs as being worthy of having a space in which to flourish, yes, but first, to begin breathing.
Attending to my altar put me in a place of gratitude for the people who have been generous and who have inspired me through the years. There are pieces of them on my soul’s place here on the windowsill.
But, of course, they don’t. They only did what their creative spirits told them to do in the moment, and to me, who happened to benefit, it was and is a gift.